Where would i be without them. It's funny when you find out you're sick with something like cancer, 23 years old and something that you think could never happen to you, happens. You dont know what to say to people, you dont know how to act, people dont know what to say to you, you dont know what to say to people, just kindof role with whatever.
Some people go through life not knowing what kindof friends they truly have, when you get sick, you find out quickly. The first month I was in the hospital I didnt spend much time alone. I remember at times there had to have been at least 15-25 people in my hospital room at one time. I had a really big room, after my many stay's there it was considered "my room", by my new friends there, the nurses. It was crazy, there would be times that there would be all of these people in there, and i would need to take some pain meds or something, not that i was in pain, but that i liked the way they made me feel, if you know what i mean. I would fall asleep with all these people in my room, and when i'd wake up, there still all were, just hanging out, talking amongst eachother, having a great time.
Not that getting cancer is ever a good thing, but it really open's your eye's to thing. When i first got sick and was in hospital, it gave everyone a chance to catch up with eachother, some people hadnt seen eachother in quite some time, so in a sense me getting sick was a good thing. Not only did it reconnect some of my friends, but it also opened others eye's to things like cancer, just add's to the the awarness, so i cant really look down on the fact that i got sick or ask why me, better me than somone else, right? right.
There were time's when my friends would hang out with me in the hospital until the we hours of the morning, my friends from home became friends with my nurses, it was just one big group of friends by the time i left there.
My nurses were great, some were my friends, some my mother types, it was good, i needed it. It's funny the things they would do for me. Most of them knew exactly why i wanted the pain med's. Everytime i would buzz them in, I would ask them if i could have my pain med's yet, they would check when i last had them, and if i could they would ask me what my level was, 1-10, EVERY SINGLE TIME I would say a four or five, they would look at me smile and bring me the goods. I dont mean to sound like a dopehead or anything sometimes i was in pain and actually did need something, other times, it was more or less to pass the time and to deal with the awful television i had to watch while i was "locked up". They knew what would happen to me when i would take them too much, constapation. Not cool. I would go days and days without going to the bathroom, after awihle i would have to try everything they had, from pills to warm purne juice, so gross by the way, but it worked. They would always threatin me with dipository's, I didnt want anything to do with them, so I would drink the prune juice. The nurses that would act like a mother figure when my real mother wasnt there would always ask me how i was doing, and say they're worried about me being bored and what not like any good mother would. There was this one nurse that I had a couple of time's usually over night, that everytime when her shift would start, around 11:30pm, she would bring in this little stool and sit next to my bed and rub my arm and ask how i was doing and how my day was going, say weird things. She was a super nice lady, but damn, she weirded me out at times. It's one thing to ask me how my day was and how i'm doing tonight and whatnot, but did she need to rub my arm? I dont know, call me crazy, just seemed a little unnecessary to me. She was a little nutty to say the least. Most of my nurses new that I refused to eat the god for saken food at the hospital, so they would never ask, most of my time spent in the "clink" I would only eat the breakfast and then the rest of the day i would eat pop-sickle's. I would usually eat them through the night until I was full, or until i would throw up. All and all my nurses were great, and i still consider them good friends, I could not have gotten through anything without them.
Another thing that i found interesting was that was brought to my attention by one of my good friends is that, with all of these people coming to see me all the time, me resting in my hospital bed, some i hadnt seen in a real long time, some I didnt think I would ever see again, or at least have a meaningful conversation with, but they came and it was fine. What my buddy said to me was, it's weird, it's like being at your own funeral and being alive for it. All of these people, because i'm sick, people not knowing what may happen in the future, coming to see me, whether i had talked to them the day before or hadnt talked to them in years, they were there to see me, talk to me, just be around. Not really knowing what to think. I mean death was an actual possibility, but not in my eye's never once crossed my mind, once i was in the hospital. I was in there to get better, and get home.
My friends have played a much bigger role in my recovery then i could ever put into words, that is somthing that i will try to talk about throughout my posts.
Again if you have any idea's or advice please let me know.
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