Living at home......

Living at home is something that we promise ourselves we will never do after college, that's our time to get out on our own and not have mom and dad there breathing down your neck, questioning everything youre doing.  Well sometimes you dont have a choice, like in my case, if I had a choice, I sure as hell wouldnt have moved home.  This doesnt mean I dont love home, and my parents, just means I want to live with my friends and hang out.  This wasnt the case, I had to move home, no options, moveing home. 

I was used to being waited on hand and foot, with the push of a button i'd have someone at my becking call asking what I needed.  That was great, although I didnt use that button enough, I never really needed anything, just the fact that the button was there if I needed was a good feeling.  When I moved home I didnt have that button, instead I just used my voice, "MOMMMMM!", and of course my mom would come running, or sometimes would just yell back, "What?", which I would always get a chuckle from. 

One of the big things I got from being sick was that I learned how to be ok with being alone, and doing things myself.  For some people, me included, being alone is a tuff thing, but it was something that I had to get used too.  Not that I was ever really alone, I always had somone there, if I really needed them, but I had become so independent and I was helped so often that one of the things that i enjoyed once I got home was being able to do things myself.  I didnt need anyone to wrap me when I took a shower, I didnt need anyone to make me food or get me food, I wanted to do it myself, although I did enjoy home cooked meals, but I liked making my own lunch, just doing things myself, it was a good feeling. 

One of the things about living at home that was hard for me was that I had to live in Northfield, which sucked because all of my friends lived in the cities and the surrounding 'burbs.  I was closer to my friends when I lived at the hospital, I always saw them when I was there, now that I was living at home I didnt think I would get to see them as much.  I didnt expect my friends to drop everything just because I was sick, I understood that they had their own lives to live and they were all doing different things.  My friends would always tell me how they were sorry that they hadnt seen me or talked to me in awhile, but I understood that just because I was sick, that they didnt need to drop everything and see me everyday, I knew we were still friends, I knew that they were still there for me if I needed them, they didnt have to see me for me to know that.  Thats why they are friends.  It didnt matter that I was home though, my friends were always over, whether it be for a Wild game, or a Gopher hockey game that was on tv, or just to come over and hang out.  I remember one night when there were all sorts of people over.  We played some guitar hero, watched tv, just hung out, after awhile it turned into a concert of sorts, with friends playing a real guitar and singing and what not, it was great. 

Although at first I didnt know what it was going to be like livnig at home, what if I got sick, or what if something went wrong, these were all things that went through my head.  After a couple days it all went away because I knew I was in good hands, I mean I was at home, thats everyone's safe haven. 

These worries of mine did come up while I was at home.  I knew right when I was getting sick, too me, getting sick was something that I could tell when it was going to happen, it was like a sixth sense.  The first time I got sick at home was about a week or two after I had gotten home from the hospital, I came down with a fever.  The funny thing is that when my mom called the doctor and the doctor said that I had to go back up to the hospital, I just started crying, I wasnt crying or worried that I was sick, it was the fact that I had to go back to the dreaded hospital.  I was just getting used to being at home and loved being home again, and then I had to go back to the hospital, I was glad to be going back to the hospital because I knew I was in good hands there and I would get better which was the main idea.  So I had to spend a week in the hospital which was fine, I mean it sucked dont get me wrong, but what choice did I have?  After a week I got to go home and enjoy being there, until I had to go back in a couple of weeks for another round of chemo, but for the time being, I was at a place that I loved being, home. 

It still got to me sometimes that I was living at home but oh well, get over it right.  My time spent at home consisted of watching tv and the interent, sortof like now, ha.  To give you a little insight on my daily routine, I would wake up whenever, usually around 9, i'd eat some breakfast, usually cereal, then I would head for the couch, computer on my lap, and my cat by my side and i'd surf the web and channel surf until about noon, when I would go eat some lunch, I dont remember what I would eat, but I'm sure it was good and healthy.  After lunch I would usually rent a movie on demand fromt he tv and lay and watch that, sometimes I would fall asleep, sometimes not.  So i'd watch a movie and once that was over i'd channel surf again and play on the computer, until dinner, a nice home cooked meal, it doesnt get much better than that.  After dinner I would go back to my computer and the tv and do the same thing again, surf the tv and the web, usually try and watch some kind of sporting event, until about 9pm, when then I would ask my mom to make some popcorn on the stove.  Popcorn on the stove is so much better then microwave popcorn, so so so good, it was one of my cravings while I was home, always had to have it, everyday.  When the popcorn was done I again would rent a movie from on demand.  I would always rent these movies and not tell my parents, and just let them deal with the extra money charged to their cable bill every month, thanks mom, thanks dad.  Once the movie was over i'd head to my room to watch sportscenter until I fell asleep, then get up the next day and do it all over again. 

Living at home was alright, I got used to it, it was nice.  No matter what, it's where I was, and it was home....